Jack: So we decided to start a blog to help us through the IVF process. We are hoping that the opportunity to vent our emotions will help us deal with the stress. We won’t lie, Jack and Pippa are pseudonyms. As time goes by you will understand why we chose to withhold our identities. We are very personal people and many members of our family are not aware of our situation. This is no reason why others cannot appreciate the feelings we are going through and can take advise or offer it where we need it.
I’ll start by apologising for my really bad spelling and grammar. I will use a spell check where I can but sometimes I’m too distracted and my writing looks like a 5 year old just finger painted it onto the page.
So, IVF, our hospital invited us to an open evening to discuss the process recently. This was a very informative evening and we both took a lot from it. On Monday we should have gone back to the hospital for a consultation but due to fucking snow it was moved back until Thursday. So a day booked off has been wasted and now it will look very suspicious when I need to take Thursday morning off.
So what does this new appointment hold in store? Well, I’m not 100% sure. I know I have a cup to fill and I have to not empty my gentlemen’s purse for 3 days in advance. This might explain my inability to hold rational thought at the moment seeing as on Monday morning, when we were extended, I was already 3 days into my dry spell. To find I was given a 3 day “Extension” was grim, baby batter is coming out of my ears. Now, I don’t consider myself a pervert or anything like that. But two of the many beautiful gifts given to us by nature were the abilities to go for nice dumps and of course the ability to pleasure yourself with a hand. I know every guy is the same from pub conversations, but I’m sure you ladies are the same even if you don’t admit it (I bet your nodding now). I don’t mind admitting this in this forum as I’m sure Pippa is already well aware and everything that goes on this blog stays on this blog. It’s the unwritten rule. Well, it was, until the first post!
I imagine, after filling the cup. By the way, the decision to fill this on the premises is still yet to be decided. They did offer this in the forum by the way. I won’t just turn up and do it in reception whilst I wait. I’ll need something stronger than a year old copy of woman’s weekly. Anyway, after ”the cup” I’m sure I will have another doctor feel my balls (They cant get enough) and then it’ll be over to Pippa. I understand, for her procedure, they want to send in a team. But with the current minor strike I’m not sure who is going to do the work. I’m sure she will probably “fill us in” when she updates her post. I suppose that is something I can be grateful for. The abstinence of my hands in my pants beats having the hands of several other persons in my pants… err, hands down! (Sorry)
So I suppose, it’s to her, my hat comes off. She has plenty to go through before we get pregnant. And then we still have the pregnancy to go through. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t done anything yet. You will be surprised at how the job of doing the bad thing becomes a tiresome and frightening job with the introduction of this clinical situation. The demand causes performance stresses I have NEVER seen before on the bedroom stage! I will go into this a little more when I have time. I know there will be some guys out there dealing with the same thing that will probably be grateful just to read these few words. I will also note some of things we did to alleviate these problems at a later stage.
I am 31 and Pippa is 39. I have a slightly below sperm count but the doctor says there’s no reason we shouldn’t be getting pregnant with the quantity and health of the living sperm. Pippa is healthy also. I really think it’s a matter of the swimmers not being in the right place at the right time. We have been trying properly for just over a year now. With each attempt and the arrival of each period, we would find reason after reason for our attempt not working. We would also find other things to do. The addition of Pippa doing post coital hand stands included. Pippa can probably share some of the more practical technologies she has included into this. Like the thing she uses to tell us the exact few days to concentrate our efforts. It tells us when her eggs are in the shop window as it were.
Anyway, the first post is getting a bit long winded but it already feels good getting this off my chest. I will think of some more stories about the build up to this date later and hopefully I will have another post for next week when we have had our first consultation. We will be twittering between posts on: http://twitter.com/PippaHaze
Fingers crossed
Jack.
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