that damn cat!

Pippa: Wow looks like even the cat is aware of our situation. It's a bit hard to keep it from him I guess, we do treat him like our big furry baby substitute- I think the family think we are very strange.

I'm amazed at his relatively good typing skills though- his paws must cover 4 keys at a time!

Well, I have been ill today, I must have caught a stomach bug and have been quite sick. It started this morning. I'm just glad that, with it being just after my period, I am not mistaking this for a sign of pregnancy. That would have got my hopes up again for a while.

Anyway, I have my second appointment at the clinic tomorrow. I'm a little apprehensive but at the moment I just hope I'm well enough to make it there. I wouldn't want to delay anything at this point.

I think the nurse is going to teach me how to inject stuff into my leg. I'm not too worried about this as needles have never bothered me that much. Now, had it been Jack who had to take the injections I think we'd have a problem.

Yesterday I didn't post. I should have done as there was a significant occurance that blogging may have helped me think through. My sister and her husband were also considering IVF and went for their first consultation yesterday. It was going to be a bit weird us experiencing this side by side but also a little comforting. There was the worry that if the treatment succeeded for one of us and not the other it would have been difficult to come to terms with. But we are close and I think the shared journey would have strengthened our relationship.

However, they had more serious complications. She had been diagnosed with early menopause (despite her being younger than me) and her hubby had an extremely low sperm count- so low they were unable to find any motile ones. The clinic have refused them treatment on the basis that even with the ICSI procedure, their chances are almost zero.

This has brought up a whole load of feelings. How are they coming to terms with this news? And how would we? I mean, if the IVF doesn't work the first time I can see us having another go but it is not cheap and the money pot is not endless. Will we have to bear the news that a family is impossible?

They are already looking into adoption but this seems like a minefield of red tape and potential disappointment. What a nightmare.

I told my sis that I will now not want to keep updating her on our progress as this would likely be painful for her. She told me off for even thinking this but the reticence is still there. Why is life this unfair?